Ocean-Flute

Daily Deviation! I am amazed beyond words.

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much to SparrowSong for the feature, and thank you to everyone who commented and favourited Notes on Anatomy.

I must tell you - I have been having such a bad few weeks, floundering in this start of clinical years, my hands feeling more like shovels than calibrated instruments. And I was trying to locate sheeps' jugulars this afternoon, for the longest time, for the longest time and felt like crying because I had to punch the needle in so repeatedly-

Back in my room, my Belle's text says 'congrats on the DD'.

And for all the frustration that did not cause me to cry, now I am, because of this.

Words can't describe how grateful I am.

I don't post here much anymore, and I certainly don't keep up with all the people I should... But this might change things. If you would like to read more about the life of a (somewhat struggling) vet student, I'd be so happy to share mine.

Thank you all again! I'm completely bewildered!

No. No I will not give up.

I'm sorry to anyone watching me - I am terribly inconsistent. I write a lot, but I'm always so scared of posting.

But that'll stop. I'm going to try harder. Please bear with me.

I've been very idle. I'd tell you why, but you might laugh at me.

I am sad. I am sad because I want to fill the fridge with vegetables and fruit but I never learnt how to shop, and I want to update the medicine cabinet but I was always the one being looked after. I want to stir fry and make delicious dishes of yellow and green and red that the Asians are so famous for but I'm afraid of the stove, I'm afraid it would eat me. And I wish I could drive, and not have the constant nag of accident scenarios in my mind, so I can be where I'm needed, or even not needed, because at least I know how to hug and gve comfort.

What is a girl for, if she can't sew or cook or shop? She dabbles in poetry; she wields a scalpel with some sort of malicious gleeful sadness against the world. But she's useless, utterly useless. She buys instant noodles and powerade, she frets around the iron and puts too much washing liquid in the washing machine. She needs instruction on the use of the dish washer, and she doesn't know, never learnt, how to make a bed. What is she for? Why would a man keep her, when he could just as easily keep a dog, a cat, a house plant?

I'm a little down. It's the end of winter. Soon I will be happy again.

I'm sorry, I've been terribly idle.